I recently bought a Retroid in order to play some Steam games. Most people, it seems, buy these devices as piracy machines. I have no interest in that. But there are a handul of games that I would play if they were on Switch, but would struggle to play at my computer. It’s a Wrap, for one.
It was difficult for me to tell if this device would meet my needs. Most of the comments I can find online suggest that the Retroid is not powerful enough to play PC games. Inevitably, someone will clarify that they are trying to play the newest Call of Duty or Forza game, and someone else will point out that “anything newer than about the XBOX 360 will struggle to play.” They mean this disparagingly, but I want to play, like 2D Zelda clones. We’re different people!
Downloading games onto the device is done through an app called GameHub, which emulates enough of Windows to tell the lies Steam needs to hear to download your games. It works great, unless the screen goes dark during a download. There’s a popup that warns you about this every time. Don’t leave the app, don’t let the screen go dark. I understand / don’t show me again.
We all know how this story goes. Just as Adam was destined to be cast from the garden, I too said I understood these simple conditions and then let the screen go dark. I’m sorry! It defaults to a 15-second timeout. While most of the games I play are under 2GB, sometimes people put fully voiced scenes into their murder mystery visual novels! This raises the size to 8 GB, which takes several minutes of screen flicking.
And if you do let the screen go dark, the download is forever paused, like a broken clock. Deleting the files resets it to to 0, but does not erase the shame and sin of your crime. Ne’er again will the app download. You had your warning.
To be let back into Eden, you must perform dark, edlritch rituals, gaining a level access to your hardware that would make a congressman blush. You must use this access to wander into a place where, like a surgeon, you can trim away certain, specific, unlabeled files in order to re-establish the wards, earning for yourself a second chance to prove worthy. Can you keep the screen alive until the download completes?
If the screen goes dark, you lose it all, stuck. Nothing can be done. You must complete the ritual again, this time with an extra serving of shame. “Known issue”, though solutions are slim. It’s a niche product. As I write this, i flick a joystick after ever three words (flick), probably shortening the life (flick) span of this device, (flick) introducing drift into (flick) a brand new novelty.
I have another complaint (flick), that of the case not fitting the grip (flick), even though I bought them together (flick), and you’d think that the official case would fit the official grip. No! But it’s smaller than a steamdeck (and cheaper too) (dangerously long time between flicks, flick), and it plays the kinds of games that are just for me, but that I’d never (flick) sit down and play at a computer (flick). Like this one, that’s a murder mystery game where you gain clues by completing picross puzzles. Extremely my jam!
Aw rats, it just stalled at 90% AND I’D BEEN DILLGENTLY FLICKING! Back to the arcane mines.
i have another ocmlaint (flick) , that of the case not filtting the grip. but it’s smaller than a steamdeck (and cheaper too) (dangerously long time between flicks), (flick), and it plays the kinds of games that are just for me, but that I’d never (flick) sit down and play at a computer. (flick). Like this one (link) that’s a murder mystery game where you gain clues by completing picross puzzles. Extremely my jam! Aw rats, it just stalled at 90% AND I’D BEEN DILLIGENTLY FLICKING. Back to the arcane mines.